What is an altruistic liar
This is an interesting topic, one with quite a few views I am sure. The word "altruism" has a lot of meanings. One definition is the desire to help others, even at one's own expense, pretty much lying with the intention of benefiting others.
This can be a noble thing, but it can also be dangerous if you're not on guard against being taken advantage of by other people who see you as an easy mark or too soft-hearted to tell them no. And in hind sight; does it really benefit others?
If we are being honest with ourselves; would you prefer the white lie or would you prefer complete honesty. I guess this is another topic of it's own.
As for some, having the truth be told in a softer, kinder manner is more preferable than the hard honest straight forward truth. However, there is one thing that remains, if a person speaks truth out of love and respect for each other, and not out of a place of judgement, it will in most cases be a welcome truth and the response would not be hostile, but rather appreciative.
How do you know if someone else is being an altruistic liar?
In most cases and altruist is probably one of the nicest people you can have in your life. They put others first, they generally think about how their actions will affect others, they like helping others, they are proactive, they have a healthy level of self confidence and they love to serve others.
Are altruists really trying to put you first or are they taking advantage of you in such a way that you don't even know it? For example: In a relationship - If the one party is maybe a bit over weight and the other starts dropping comments like: "It looks fine, however maybe try the bigger one instead, or maybe try it with something with a bit more room? The question to ask here is - are they suggesting the above to spare you the embarrassment or themselves of being seen in public with you?
All humans have in some way a very selfish streak in us - even our best intentions are tainted with selfishness. Does it mean we stop doing good, or we stop being good friends and spouses? No not at all, it only means be aware of it and when entering into any kind of relationship, whether it be friendship, family or love relationships honesty with yourself and the other person always is the better router to take.
Are Altruists more or less averse to lying than others in environments where lying has no effects on the payoffs of others?
Research has shown that Altruists tend to lie less when they think or believe that lying will hurt the other party, however there is no evidence in support of the hypothesis that altruists are more (or less) averse to lying than others in an environment where lying has no effect on the payoffs of others.
Even though an altruist generally puts others feelings and emotions first, they also tend to carry a lot of guilt in terms of lying. They know lying is wrong, however, their desire to put others first often trumps the guilt of lying.
The age old question remains though? Is it okay to lie? Is it lying if we try to protect others feelings?
In conclusion: We should not over complicate our lives. There is truth and there is lying, black or white, good or bad, once we start blurring the lines and try to justify our thoughts and actions it brings a whole set of other consequences.
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